Christian Oral Sex: Is it moral?

The morality of Christian oral sex is something many Christian couples are concerned about.

Oral stimulation can be part of a moral, healthy and loving sexuality within marriage. But it's essential to:

  • Understand the moral guidelines of Christian sexuality
  • Keep within these guidelines in practice

The moral guidelines

As my general article about Christian sex discusses, there are some basic Catholic guidelines for sex within marriage. They help us understand and live the Christian call to holiness in married life.

Let's review these guidelines quickly and see what they mean for Christian oral sex.

NOTE: This is from a Catholic perspective. But many Protestants have found these Catholic teachings to be a rich source of practical guidance for living according to God's original plan for sex & marriage.

See the main article about Christian sex for more.

Catholic sexual morality gives us three specific guidelines:

  1. Our sexual actions should be directed to our spouse for his or her benefit and pleasure. Sex is a chance to give ourselves to our spouse in a uniquely loving and intimate way.
  2. Each specific type of sexual activity must be of loving intent & action.
  3. During sexual union, male climax must occur during normal sexual intercourse (it has to be open to the possibility of fertility).

This last point is especially critical when talking about Christian oral sex. It is not moral, even for married couples, to seek to achieve male orgasm outside of normal intercourse.

Christopher West's book Good News About Sex & Marriage covers these basics, and a lot of specific questions, in great detail. It's a wonderful book that gives practical guidance for living Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body.

The Catholic group Catholics United for the Faith (CUF) has a great online article about married love & sexuality. This article doesn't discuss specific sexual acts, but you can apply its basic principles to Christian oral sex.

These general principles of sexual morality boil down to choosing to live according to God's original plan for marriage and sexuality. This is a part of accepting Christ's offer of Redemption.

What we do in and with our bodies matters tremendously.

We can't live as if body and soul were separate, unrelated things!

Applying the guidelines to
Christian oral sex

Like many sexual actions, oral genital stimulation is not inherently good or bad as long as it's not used as an alternative to intercourse, or to achieve male orgasm.

Christian oral sex can't deliberately result in male climax. That would not be keeping open to fertility. (Female orgasm is not under the same restriction!)

Some couples may enjoy it, while others may not. Christian oral sex certainly can be a part of sexual pleasure within a loving marriage, whether pursued during foreplay or after intercourse.

The essential things to examine are your intentions and the circumstances. Catholic oral sex must always be a truly loving, free act.

  • Examine your intentions. Is it really a loving act for you and your spouse?
  • Are you engaging in Christian oral sex as a way to enjoy and love your spouse? Or do your actions express a desire to dominate or control him or her?
  • Is your spouse a willing partner for this? Your good intentions alone won't make it a loving act if he or she dislikes it or feels degraded.
  • Are you engaging in Christian oral sex in a way that makes it un-Christian? A truly loving action isn't degrading or obviously selfish.

Christian oral sex can be a loving part of a strong & fully Christian sexuality within marriage.

Realize that these moral guidelines are meant to help us fully live our marriage vows as faithful Christians. Practicing them can help bring you & your spouse closer together. And bring you closer to Christ.

So put real love at the heart of your marriage.

Accept the Christian challenge!

This article is one of a set about Christian sex. All are part of this website's section about Catholic morality.

Also check our home page for more articles about the Catholic faith!